I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
