My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
