I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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