I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
