I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
