I think i peed on brittanys purse
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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