So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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