got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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