some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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