Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
