Tell her she can't have a vagina
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
