he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
