I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
