your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She bit a glass in half.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
