i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
