there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So much rum. So many feels.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
