do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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