I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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