it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
PANTIES FOUND
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
