we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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