You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just made my gag reflex go away.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
