so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We are two peas in an std pod
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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