I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
