I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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