I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
