I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
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I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Never underestimate the power of titties
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