My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
