I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
