if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
this hospital has no fireball
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
