Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
