Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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