can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
