Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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