id be glad to
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
