YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
