hotel room ftw
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
