the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
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