I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
