The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
