she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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