I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
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We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
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I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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