Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Randomize
