so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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