He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
