do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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