remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just google imaged poop.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
