Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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