ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
