..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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