we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize