margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
