Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
