Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
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We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
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I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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