I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
