I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
