She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
