yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
