so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Everything about him screamed your future.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
