i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
