my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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